Picking Up Chicks, Lesson 1: Get your own card

(Kora, the star of the show.)

Let's say you're at Tres Cantina on a Thursday night. You're there because someone you know - your cousin, perhaps - is playing there. It's a beautiful night in the late summer, so they've opened up the back patio, which is a perfect setting. You've got your best friend (who is also your cousin, extended, by marriage, who will share credit with you forever on making that marriage happen so you could be cousins) with you.

Let's also say that there are three guys hanging around near your table. They are going on and on about something, which turns out to be the "well water" they ordered. They find it extremely disgusting, and they offer you and your friend some. "Heck no," you say, rightly so, since, HELLO, that's gross. Plus, the guys in this hypothetical situation are harmless, but in other situations, you could totally get roofied that way. Duh.

One of them sees your iPhone. It's clearly a 3GS, so he asks when you're due for an upgrade. Let's be honest, it doesn't matter when you're available for an upgrade. He would've responded in the same way. He pulls out a Best Buy business card. Turns out, he's an employee there. He writes his name on the card, since it's actually someone else's card, and tells you to stop by and he can hook you up with an upgrade.

Do you go?

...Your answer should be no. No, you don't go. It's certainly not the worst pickup ever, but it was absolutely not successful, and homegirl (yours truly) next to you was trying not to die laughing right there, and you don't even live here, and he looked like he could easily have been 15 years older than you, and a bar & grill on a Thursday night in a city you don't live in is certainly not where you pick up guys who look 15 years older than you and give you someone else's business card so you can drive to see him at his work on the premise of getting an upgrade.

It's weird.