Welcome, Max!

I had some posts in the last couple months of my pregnancy that never made it past the "draft" phase. This is more than forgivable, considering everything going on. With that being said, I think I can make it back into the blogging world now. So 90s, so fetch.

Welcome to the world, Max Bennett!

He arrived on September 1, 2016, weighing 8 pounds & 13 ounces, at 21 inches long. Our entire experience from start to finish was so different than our experience when Maya was born. We are sleepy and so happy he's finally here!

[Insert Crying Emoji Here]

The great thing about the baby-birthing industry is that you know your doctor will be there when you need them. The not great thing about the baby-birthing industry is that you aren't your doctor's only patient, and them being there when one of their patients needs them might mean you find yourself making two trips to the city just to find yourself waiting for your doctor to return from birthing someone else's baby.

To be honest, it's not that bad. It's definitely inconvenient, but what might have been truly upsetting with Maya isn't with this baby. With Maya, it felt like months between every appointment! Now, I'd be an obvious mess if it weren't for calendar apps and alerts and reminders. (Seriously, how did anyone parent before smartphones?) Instead of being "awww maaaan", I'm using the free void in my schedule to chill on a couch in the waiting room and write this blog post while Maya isn't in my care. I guess I could've just rescheduled and gotten a built-in excuse to have babysitting again, but that's a lot of work, guys. If I'm gonna get child care, I'd much rather go somewhere other than a doctor appointment.

Speaking of doctor appointments, things are definitely in the home stretch. All signs point to baby, and I am so ready. That's the only thing I'm certain of these days. That, and the fact that I need a full-body massage. The little baby I host might rip out of my body with every stretch. (Do babies flex in utero?) I've had some Braxton-Hicks contractions this week, which is yet another sign of the end. I'm more excited than anything about the labor and delivery, even knowing it's not something you can plan with any real certainty.

That's how I live best, I've learned. Maybe I'm a true Sagittarius after all. I've said you become more yourself as a parent, and that's still true. 

***

I take back everything I said. I came out of my appointment just shy of completely devastated because my beloved doctor is moving! Someone else will be my OB for the last month of my pregnancy, the delivery of my baby boy, and every moment for the rest of my life maybe. Please excuse me while I work through the stages of grief over this very real and difficult loss.

I guess I'll go question everything in life now?

30 Weeks i.e. I Waddle Now

The weeks have become months, at this point. I have come to terms with the fact that I'm a wee bit complain-y. Isn't it my right or something?

Anyway, I truly feel like this kid could bust out of my stomach with each stretch. My abs aren't as tough as they were before I had Maya, so my stomach muscles are pretty much useless at this point. Maya is more active than ever, and I am exhausted. My vehicle is having problems, my washer broke, it's a thousand degrees outside, and any position that doesn't free up my lungs is suffocating.

BUT! I am so excited about things coming up. And, let me tell you, there is no shortage of things coming up. The holiday weekend, a baby shower, Maya's second birthday (which is particularly enticing because there's gonna be a lazy river involved), and the birth of this new little baby. Now that I've publicly complained, I'm free to exclaim - in text - how exciting so much of this is. I don't need to even open my tired eyes to say "WOOHOO" online, so WOOHOO!

At my last prenatal appointment two weeks ago, my uterus measured a week and a half bigger than where I am, which isn't anything to be afraid of yet. At my next appointment on Thursday, I'll be measured again, and we'll see how things look. I'm just gonna chill and let this baby do his thing, and whenever he's born, he's born. And if he busts right out of my stomach to make his arrival, I'll just look at it as a free tummy tuck or something.

He's so strong. I'm proud and all, but I'll be more proud when I'm not in pain. That's not me complaining, that's just a simple fact.

This is also a fact: Any more children I give birth to will not be born in summer. They just won't.

28 Weeks

Nightly leg cramps, daily heartburn, constant lower back pain, swollen feet, puffy cheeks that just won't quit... Daaa dada daaaaa!!! Third trimester, baby!

I was never worried about how long my second pregnancy would seem to be. I had an inkling that it would be over before I knew it, and I've been right so far. Part of me can't believe we're in the last trimester already. My long torso allows me to carry babies deeper (apparently) and because of this, I look about two months behind where I actually am. With Maya, I was a week overdue and a stranger, whose daughter was due a month after me, guessed that I was due a month after her.

I was all, "No, no, man I don't know. I am, in fact, seven days past my due date." We had a good laugh at his ...compliment?... but I was already having contractions by then or else I might have cried a little.

This time, I'm a lot more prepared. For starters, there's a lot less anxiety because I know what to expect. More importantly, I'm prepared to be pregnant longer than they say I'll be pregnant. Can't fool me twice, body!

The joke will still be on me if this kid is born early.

I digress. I meant to say that I guess I was expecting to be in the second trimester forever until my bump was too huge for life. I don't know why. (I'm getting really close to that, anyway.) Like I said, this pregnancy has flown by. I haven't had time to overthink hardly anything. Tragic! Really though, days were like weeks with Maya. Silly childless Reghan, how cute. How cute that you were SO BUSY you were able to just obsess about being pregnant 24/7. Seriously, what did I do with my life before this? Wasted it, I tell you! Pure waste.

I'm excited for this little man to be born. I love pregnancy, but it's like a huge pause. I have more to do than ever before, yet I still have so much I want to do that can't be done until I'm no longer a host. He'll be out of me before I know it, and then months will go by and I'll wake up one day and realize I've been a zombie the whole time. I won't know what day it is, or what month it is, and then I'll get to file a tax return with two kids on it and, at that point, I'll probably wake up a little.

I'm already tired. Just let me sleep, okay?

Don't, really. I have things to do and I think I'm running out of time. I think, I THINK, I'm in the last trimester now?

3 Months Left

As of today, we have exactly three months until this baby is due. The most important thing to remember here is that I didn't panic.

I repeat: DID NOT panic. Today. I didn't panic today.

The secret here is that I already panicked. As soon as May became June, I low-key freaked out and did a TON of planning. So much planning. Having kids challenges everyone. You know why? Because you have to be equally structured and unstructured. Then you have to know when to be which. Who can live under these conditions?!

Do you see how I'm totally calm and collected and not freaking out at all?

It's not that I'm anxious about his arrival. In fact, thinking of when he is finally born is the best relief I have right now. The last and craziest trimester will be gone, and I'll have a bunch of check marks on all my lists. For a naturally flexible personality like mine, it is no small task to get things done. I generally get things done, but with a lot of planning and preparation on my part. I know me better than ever, and I can't just willy-nilly spring through life all the time, particularly as an adult, especially as a parent. In fact, it's probably lucky that my first kid is strong-willed, 'cause otherwise, I have no clue what we'd be doing. Just laying around?

Many feelings (that I'm told are normal) are starting to emerge, like what if I screw this baby up because I try to parent him like I learned to parent Maya? What if she feels abandoned by me when there's a new baby at home? What if he isn't as advanced in development as she is and I spend his whole childhood comparing him to her? He can't live in a shadow! But see, these are things I don't worry about anymore because I am perfectly chill and zen.

I can't deny my excitement. Knowing that we're so close to bringing home a baby boy is uplifting. It makes sense for us. Nothing motivates me quite like being a mom, especially since it's not such an unfamiliar experience this time around. There's nothing quite like the first time, but maybe there's nothing quite like the second time, either. That's been true so far, at least.

Tomorrow, I'm 27 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow is 3 weeks until the 30s, 13 weeks until the due date, and negative 6 days until I freaked out a little.

See? 100% casual, laid back, mellow. Lax, even. If I were any more chill, I'd be frozen Anna before her act of true love thaws her out. Or I'd be Hans' heart. Or Olaf, maybe. Arendelle after Elsa freezes it? Or Elsa herself! She's gotta be cold.

Anyway, the point is that I'm fine.

A Moment of Peace

...Which I ruin, of course, with all this thinking.

A day of constant setbacks and interruptions has ultimately led me to where I am now: in my bed at 5:06pm next to a (finally) sleeping toddler and feeling the strong kicks and somersaults of a very awake bump-baby. I have a load of dishes to do, and clean laundry covers the living room furniture, but I'm not jumping up to go anywhere just yet.

I'll get up soon and be mamamaid (which is kinda like a mermaid but not nearly as gorgeous or glamorous or graceful), but I was taken out of my zone by a sudden moment of peacefulness. Peace is rare these days. (Or is it? I don't know. I haven't had much time to stop and think about it.) I don't want to miss a valuable moment, even if it risks me falling asleep and accomplishing nothing. (Because I'm so tired, guys. I think prego-bod is starting to get to me. My brain is all crazy, my body hurts, my abs are borderline useless now. I need bath bombs and delicious food and to sleep in just once.)

1000 parentheses later & I eventually get back to my point. (Which was...?)

Those who know her best would argue that there is no such thing as peace when Maya is around, and I wouldn't disagree. But baby boy is around, too. Maya is a little too young to know he's here, but he still has his own energy, already. I've started to realize that calm isn't the absence of energy, it's a force all its own.

...Thank God, amirite? Between Maya and me, we have an imbalance in our house. Justin and I balance each other out; Maya tipped the scales. OBVIOUSLY the logical thing to do is bring in another kid and pray to the Good Lord that he's like Justin. So far, observation of the guests at Hotel Reghan would indicate that he is nothing like Maya at all. She explored every inch of this uterus and slept only when absolutely necessary. He tends to chill at the top and stretches and plays, eh, whenever he feels like it. I just knew Maya was gonna be an energetic ball of sunshine. Not to get all hippie on you, but I'm feeling more of a moon vibe from this guy.

Regardless, he'll be his own person just as Maya is her own. I'll do the mom thing like I'm supposed to. I'll hold up my end of the deal and feed him and love him and stuff. However, this time around, I have a few demands in return. I didn't make any demands with Maya at all prior to her birth, and that seems to have been a huge mistake. I may have been naïve then, but I'm no dummy now. Baby #2 is unfortunate in that way, but he actually has it better, I'd say. He restores a balance in energy in our house, and I provide him with a higher level of expertise in caring for babies. Easy peasy.

At the very least, I just need him to distract her. I'm tired of having to undo Maya's rearrangement of the fridge every time I do the dishes, and I already really hate doing the dishes.

But I'll settle for a moment like this every now and then, when it's just me, my two babies, and a little bit of peace.

20 Weeks

I started drinking coffee again. I've always like the taste, but you never would've found me drinking it near-black a few years ago. I say "near black" because, well, I guess it's technically just as black as "black", but I add sugar. I used to add a little milk, but last week I kinda went milk crazy (unrelated to coffee) and maxed out the milk budget. Justin is one of those people who's more likely to be a psychopath since he drinks his coffee true black, so we don't have creamer of any kind. So, you could say what I've been drinking is like strong, dark tea. Sweet tea. Not as good as cold, sweet, actual tea, but that's not the point.

I'm drinking coffee again because I need it. Well, what I actually need is a minimum of 12 solid hours of sleep every night, but LOL, amirite? It's not just that I need coffee; obviously, I crave it. You know what this baby in me wants? Near-black coffee, fat rare steak, sharp cheddar, and chocolate.

...which means it's OBVIOUSLY a boy.

For real! A real, living, ultrasound-confirmed boy.

So far, both of my pregnancies have been healthy and generally uneventful (which is great). In nearly every other way, my current could not be more different from my previous. With Maya, I think I had exactly one week of nausea and I could probably count on one hand the number of times I threw up the entire 40 weeks. This time, almost the entire first half was all-day sickness. I don't generally suffer from allergies, but with Maya, allergy season had me feeling dead and wishing I actually was. With this baby, nothin'.

There have been some other differences that are probably normal for second vs. first. I felt baby boy moving much sooner than I felt Maya, and this pregnancy has gone by significantly faster than hers. Duh. When I was pregnant with her, I didn't have a crazy kid running around, dancing, climbing, breaking all my stuff. I still wonder what I did before I had kids. There was so much time for activities! Why don't I have my own business? Why haven't I traveled the world already? Why am I not a plastic surgeon or something? I remember being busy... with stuff? I worked. I... showered regularly?

I've decided that parenting is for Type A people. We should just leave the procreating to the responsible adults who can handle it.

On that note, here's a sonogram of the baby I'm about to have! ...which is not at all contradictory to my previous statement. I refuse to admit that it is, and you can't make me.

I'm officially halfway through this pregnancy, and I've only started to panic a tiny bit. On the one hand, I know having two kids is totally possible and people do it all the time. On the other hand, how does anyone have two kids at once?! I'll figure it out, probably. Plus, I'm totally used to being awake at night now. It's like my brain learned which lights to keep on up there. You gain a new state - awake, asleep, and now, zombie. "Mombie", if you will. I'd say it's different than your traditional zombie in that you don't want brains, but that would be a lie. I need brains more than ever. There's that saying about how having kids is like letting pieces of your heart go walking around outside your body. Well, that's not all. They take some of your brain, too.

I'll leave it to more experienced moms to tell you if you ever get any of it back.

Hey there.

I'M BACK!

This would be a lot better if I had announced my leaving. I mean, I didn't leave... I just went off the blogging grid for a while. Accidentally.

I won't go too deep into anything, but in the interest of full disclosure, life and depression got to happening. As it turns out, being pregnant and not fully over postpartum depression from the last baby is not the best mix. (Does a person ever get "cured" from depression of any kind? I don't think so.) Add in regular life stress and you've got a recipe for an absent blogger.

Currently, Maya is a year and a half old (19 months) and the little nugget is nearly halfway done cooking (19 weeks). All-day nausea is gone now and I think I really should be getting about 14 hours of sleep per night. I'm trying to make myself more ambitious because it hit me yesterday that I'm halfway to having two - TWO!!! - kids under my care. Maya is in the process of transitioning to her own bed, to my disappointment, but they've gotta grow up eventually, right? She's also in the stage of pre-potty training, which basically just means she's much more aware of what is going on, and we're familiarizing her with the potty. I doubt she'll be out of diapers when the baby is born, but that's okay, developmentally. I'm not really in the business of rushing things, am I?

Obviously, this pregnancy has flown by. Maya is what they would call a spirited child, which I'm sure I'll dive into later on here, and that has kept me quite... distracted? Busy? On the brink of insanity?

Easter was very fun this year. With a few exceptions, I've spent nearly every Easter of my life at my grandparents' house. They've got a lot going on this year, so thankfully, all of us were able to put it together. We colored eggs, made some delicious deviled eggs, hid some plastic ones for Maya to find, and had a great lunch. I also became aware that I've transitioned from pudge to bump, which was equally exciting and scary.

Justin's Frankeggstein

Four.

​The problem with blogging is that you get pregnant and don't know what to write about when your days are full of the very information you're sitting on.

Yes, you read that right: WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!

Another baby, that is. Maya Blue is gonna be a big sister! That's weird. It's right but it's surreal. My first, beautiful, tiny little infant is now a toddler and no longer the youngest or smallest member of our family. I'm old. Am I old? I think I'm old now.

I don't even have to say that we're happy. If you've read ANYTHING I've ever written before now, you're probably glad it's finally happening and we can all move onto the next thing in life. Waiting to post this news on the internet is the worst. What am I supposed to say? "Hey guys, today was totally normal and nothing different or new is going on, EXCEPT THAT WE'RE A FAMILY OF FOUR NOW."