[Insert Crying Emoji Here]

The great thing about the baby-birthing industry is that you know your doctor will be there when you need them. The not great thing about the baby-birthing industry is that you aren't your doctor's only patient, and them being there when one of their patients needs them might mean you find yourself making two trips to the city just to find yourself waiting for your doctor to return from birthing someone else's baby.

To be honest, it's not that bad. It's definitely inconvenient, but what might have been truly upsetting with Maya isn't with this baby. With Maya, it felt like months between every appointment! Now, I'd be an obvious mess if it weren't for calendar apps and alerts and reminders. (Seriously, how did anyone parent before smartphones?) Instead of being "awww maaaan", I'm using the free void in my schedule to chill on a couch in the waiting room and write this blog post while Maya isn't in my care. I guess I could've just rescheduled and gotten a built-in excuse to have babysitting again, but that's a lot of work, guys. If I'm gonna get child care, I'd much rather go somewhere other than a doctor appointment.

Speaking of doctor appointments, things are definitely in the home stretch. All signs point to baby, and I am so ready. That's the only thing I'm certain of these days. That, and the fact that I need a full-body massage. The little baby I host might rip out of my body with every stretch. (Do babies flex in utero?) I've had some Braxton-Hicks contractions this week, which is yet another sign of the end. I'm more excited than anything about the labor and delivery, even knowing it's not something you can plan with any real certainty.

That's how I live best, I've learned. Maybe I'm a true Sagittarius after all. I've said you become more yourself as a parent, and that's still true. 

***

I take back everything I said. I came out of my appointment just shy of completely devastated because my beloved doctor is moving! Someone else will be my OB for the last month of my pregnancy, the delivery of my baby boy, and every moment for the rest of my life maybe. Please excuse me while I work through the stages of grief over this very real and difficult loss.

I guess I'll go question everything in life now?