The Prodigal Son

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”

- Luke‬ ‭15:20-24‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

***

 

Both sons were lost, but only one of them knew it. The story used to frustrate me because I was the older son. I'm doing the right things, I'm following the rules, and yet, there's no praise for me. Then life happens and you change and grow and make more mistakes.

 

And I realized that I'm the younger son.

 

Not because I'm no longer "good", but because I can see that I'm not good. I can see how far I've strayed, that I need grace. I can see that I was never worthy in my own right, but because of my Father's love.

 

You really can go back home.

 

To roots, to foundation, to square one. To the beginning, but wiser now that you know you aren't that wise. We leave home thinking we'll find ourselves, but some of us, in tired moments, realize we are lost.

 

And, somewhere in that moment... We are found.

 

***

 

"I thought if I could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing.

Out here its like I'm someone else,

I thought that maybe I could find myself

if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.

Won't take nothing but a memory

from the house that built me."

- The House That Built Me, Miranda Lambert

Let It Go

The full article was originally posted on TheBLT, where I'm a guest columnist.

When you're in the sea of adulthood and you're getting slapped in the face by wave after wave, it can seem impossible to keep your head above water. We all get stressed in life; we all get overwhelmed sometimes. As a human and as a parent, you have to find ways to earn that "mom of the year" mug without going to jail or dying or shrieking choice words at your children. I recently had to accept wise, old words recently popularized by a young queen in a glittery dress: Let it go.

Yes, Elsa got it right. Just let the wind carry that heavy cape of pressure to be perfect off into the dark, cold abyss. Who can carry that thing around? I'd rather have the sheer, sparkly train of self-acceptance anyway. More often than I previously realized, I just need to tell myself to let it go. It's not that I can really do it all and I'm just constantly failing, it's that I can't do it all.

It sounds like a jab, but it isn't. It's freedom. Admitting that "doing it all" isn't realistic is me letting myself off the hook. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree... You know?

The fact is that bad parents don't constantly wonder if they're good enough. Bad parents aren't worried if their kid has too much candy, if missing a bath could be fatal, or if it's considered child abuse to still let them have a bottle at bedtime. I don't know how it's been before now, but I'm parenting in a time where people are offended by everything. Most of the stories we read are intended to scare or anger those of us who are just trying to do the best we can. Am I doing the best I can by constantly criticizing myself and measuring my performance as a parent based on how much or little I screw up? No.

Am I still a human and will I still make mistakes? Yes. However, even if I'll forever be critical of myself, I should never be my worst critic. The world will take care of that. I have to pick my battles, with my children, with my critics, and even with myself.

You can read the article in its entirety here.