29 Weeks

Hello, Third Trimester. We've been waiting for you.

This is the home stretch, now. Last week in the twenties. Last trimester before we meet our baby, before I become a non-pregnant version of myself again. First and second trimesters are done, and I'll never have those "firsts" again. This pregnancy has gone so slow for me, so I'm a little bit surprised that the third trimester is here. It certainly didn't sneak up on me, but I did start to doubt if time was actually moving.

This baby moves ALL THE TIME. All the time. At my last appointment, my doctor said they want ten kicks a day. "HA!" I said. I got ten kicks just while we were in the waiting room. And another ten since we've been in the exam room. That's just a warm-up to the warm-up to her warm-up exercise.

10 kicks. Pfft. Honestly.

So, we're investing in running shoes for when she starts walking.

Some awesome news is that I passed my glucose test. YAY! I was sure I was going to fail that, being hypoglycemic and all, but now I'm questioning everything I've ever known. This changes my whole outlook on life!

Some not-so-awesome news is that I am officially uncomfortable living in this new body of mine. Heartburn is a killer. I can't breathe if I lay on my back or if I eat anything. My feet, ankles, and calves are basically permanently swollen. Almost none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me anymore, and I nearly had a heart attack when I put on a non-maternity tank top that looks just like one of my maternity tank tops as you can imagine because I AM NOT THAT HUGE YET. WHY IS THIS TOO SMALL?! Upon realizing my mistake, the feeling of relief lasted only a second, because then I realized something else: Normal clothes don't fit me. This is life now.

My problem is that I'm the opposite of a hypochondriac. I didn't want to assume I'd have a bunch of symptoms just because I'm pregnant. It seems good and all, not to anticipate complaints, but I took it way too far. Every symptom I've had - you know, normal, common pregnancy symptoms - has taken me by surprise. Allergies? Swollen feet? Out of breath? Trouble sleeping? Heartburn? Leg cramps? Constant exhaustion? You mean all of these are real and they're happening to me? I get to be a member of the pregnancy party?

My belly button is starting to do its own thing. Hope it doesn't get too crazy.

When my doctor told me about how much weight I should gain by the end of this thing, I thought, Okay, seems right and normal and not a big deal at all. Then I reached a weight that totally and completely took me by surprise, as if I had never actually done the math and thought about the numbers. And we still have a whole trimester left! My doctor laughed when I asked, in a very animated way, how big of a problem it was that I had gained enough weight for nearly the rest of the pregnancy.

Turns out, I'm totally ridiculous and she's not worried at all. Hey, she's the doctor. And I don't have a scale at home, so, I'll just keep eating everything all the time.

I can assure you that this baby isn't complaining about that.

"Is my belly really that big?"
"Yes, babe, and it's only going to get bigger."

100 Days

I was told by nearly everyone that pregnancy would fly by. All of these people lied. This has been the longest thing I've ever done, ever.

It's miraculous and wonderful and freaky and awesome, and I hope to do it again (and again and again) because I really love it. But I'd be lying if I said I want it to last forever, because I don't. Yeah, yeah, the physical struggles. Whatever. Those are annoying, but I can brush those off fairly easily because I know they're temporary. Brushing off the anticipation of seeing this baby - my baby - for the first time... Not so easy. Not easy at all.

Let's also not pretend that I'm not looking forward to getting my body back. I want to improve my physical form, not watch it bloat up more and more every day, right before my eyes.

I live for the next kick in my stomach, for the next time she topples over and punches me square in the bladder. I live for the next appointment, for the next time we hear her heartbeat, for the next Saturday when I'm a week closer to holding her in my arms.

I also live for the next big, juicy, rare steak I'll devour after inhaling about six Caesar salads will all the delicious raw egg Caesar dressing I can fit in the bowl. (This is where my head's at.)

100 days is all that's left in this pregnancy gig. 100 days to get prepared to come home with a baby one day. Emotionally and mentally, I'm about as ready as I'll ever be. Past ready, in fact. Like I said, this thing has taken forever. Once the ultrasounds were done, I was ready to meet her. That's the next thing? Alright, let's do it.

As it turns out, pregnancy doesn't work that way. You wait. Baby comes when baby comes. It should take nine months, i.e. forever. "It will fly by!" they say. It might not. It might be the longest thing you've done besides life, and that's barely a fair comparison.

So then, I hear "100 days" and I'm 100% torn about whether that is a short amount of time or not.

Either way, the clock's tickin'.

***

(Also, I highly recommend avoiding strep throat at any time, especially when pregnant. It is the actual worst.)

25 Weeks + some days

This baby inside me is huge. I mean, she's small for a baby, but huge for being in my stomach! I've gotten used to [not] sleeping and I've adjusted to the heartburn, but my trusty body is not as trusty as it used to be. I don't know that I'll ever really adjust to the physical issues, partly because I've been in denial about a lot of them.

You don't have to have a beach ball belly to struggle to get out of bed. You don't have to have a short torso to have fiery heartburn. Pregnancy brain is real. Swollen feet/ankles/calves are just a part of life.

As of the last week, I can't have a single thing in my stomach without feeling like my belly skin is stretched to it's limit. That's a thing now.

Also as of the last week, baby girl is official viable outside the womb! Milestones!

 

Pregnancy is weird, don't you think? You have this baby in there - a real, live baby - and it's just growing away, waiting to be born.

Spring is in full swing. Of course, it feels a lot more like summer most of the time, but I'm not complaining about that. (Yet.) Spring means it's officially time to register. I was putting off doing this until after Justin's birthday, but now that that's done, the registry lobe in my brain has totally shut down. Nesting is a real thing, too, and I blame that for the fact that I'm overwhelmed. (But I'm still in denial about that.)

Stop nesting. The nurse in birthing class said not to waste energy.

This baby girl has more clothes than I know what to do with. All I want to do is sort them and wash them and hang them up.

What does she know?

How soon is too soon to decorate a nursery?

25 weeks. The calendar on the fridge won't need to be rewritten until 30 weeks. I remember when it said 8 weeks and I wrote "raspberry" in red marker because that's how big she was then. I didn't know she was a she yet. I hadn't had my first ultrasound yet. I hadn't even heard her heartbeat yet.

Now, the calendar goes all the way to 30 weeks, and I stopped keeping track of how big she is in relation to fruit a long time ago.

We're so so so so so so close. Excited doesn't begin to cover how we feel.