100 Days

I was told by nearly everyone that pregnancy would fly by. All of these people lied. This has been the longest thing I've ever done, ever.

It's miraculous and wonderful and freaky and awesome, and I hope to do it again (and again and again) because I really love it. But I'd be lying if I said I want it to last forever, because I don't. Yeah, yeah, the physical struggles. Whatever. Those are annoying, but I can brush those off fairly easily because I know they're temporary. Brushing off the anticipation of seeing this baby - my baby - for the first time... Not so easy. Not easy at all.

Let's also not pretend that I'm not looking forward to getting my body back. I want to improve my physical form, not watch it bloat up more and more every day, right before my eyes.

I live for the next kick in my stomach, for the next time she topples over and punches me square in the bladder. I live for the next appointment, for the next time we hear her heartbeat, for the next Saturday when I'm a week closer to holding her in my arms.

I also live for the next big, juicy, rare steak I'll devour after inhaling about six Caesar salads will all the delicious raw egg Caesar dressing I can fit in the bowl. (This is where my head's at.)

100 days is all that's left in this pregnancy gig. 100 days to get prepared to come home with a baby one day. Emotionally and mentally, I'm about as ready as I'll ever be. Past ready, in fact. Like I said, this thing has taken forever. Once the ultrasounds were done, I was ready to meet her. That's the next thing? Alright, let's do it.

As it turns out, pregnancy doesn't work that way. You wait. Baby comes when baby comes. It should take nine months, i.e. forever. "It will fly by!" they say. It might not. It might be the longest thing you've done besides life, and that's barely a fair comparison.

So then, I hear "100 days" and I'm 100% torn about whether that is a short amount of time or not.

Either way, the clock's tickin'.

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(Also, I highly recommend avoiding strep throat at any time, especially when pregnant. It is the actual worst.)