This article was originally posted in April 2016 on TheBLT, where I'm a guest columnist.
I didn't know what motherhood would be like before I became a mom. I had ideas, sure. I had dreams and images, which were enough to make me want to have babies. (That, and, you know... biology.) You hear so many things about being a parent before becoming one. For the most part, everything I heard was true for me. I truly felt like I'd never sleep more than three hours at a time for the rest of my life. At times, I felt much more like a milk machine than a mom. My life is completely different from the way it was before I brought home a baby. The list of things I heard about parenthood that are true only gets longer as time goes on.
And yet, at one point, I was the chick with only pets for kids, hearing these things and believing them. I knew they made sense, and, if so many people say all these same things, there must be truth to them. I just don't know how to explain it now, when a statement can be true and still have basically no meaning until I experienced it. Knowing isn't really knowing when I had been a mom for all of three weeks and I'm thinking, "I'm just a milk machine," like I'm hearing it for the first time.
I say all that to say this: I knew lots about being a mom before becoming a mom, but I was still wrong. About all kinds of stuff. Even when I was right.
"The problem about being right about the fact that I knew I was made to be a mother is that I was subconsciously believing that motherhood is my calling.
I knew that motherhood would be this amazing experience, and that I would never feel like I was fully myself until I added "mom" to my resumé. And I knew that life goes on after having kids. I'm still me and still a person with needs and desires. Even if being a mom was all I needed in life, I'd still eventually end up with an empty nest... and I'd fill my days with something other than diapers and feeding kids and teaching words.
"Only after becoming a mother did I realize that this isn't it. This isn't my thing. I can be a good or even great mom, and it can be one of the most fulfilling parts of my life; but that's not the same as having a driving passion to provide something good to people, even if I don't really know what that is yet."
I realized shortly after that I was so lost before I had a baby. I have a lot more confidence now, even if I don't know what my "calling" is, I am not lost. In fact, I've never been so close to where I want to be. It's just that these babies keep needing things and it's easy to forget that everything is a phase. It's easy to forget that I can feel like I have so many distractions AND still be exactly where I need to be right now, doing what I need to be doing. I mean, kids grow up. They don't live with you forever, right?
...RIGHT?!
Read the article in its entirety here.
I didn't know what motherhood would be like before I became a mom. I had ideas, sure. I had dreams and images, which were enough to make me want to have babies. (That, and, you know... biology.) You hear so many things about being a parent before becoming one. For the most part, everything I heard was true for me. I truly felt like I'd never sleep more than three hours at a time for the rest of my life. At times, I felt much more like a milk machine than a mom. My life is completely different from the way it was before I brought home a baby. The list of things I heard about parenthood that are true only gets longer as time goes on.
And yet, at one point, I was the chick with only pets for kids, hearing these things and believing them. I knew they made sense, and, if so many people say all these same things, there must be truth to them. I just don't know how to explain it now, when a statement can be true and still have basically no meaning until I experienced it. Knowing isn't really knowing when I had been a mom for all of three weeks and I'm thinking, "I'm just a milk machine," like I'm hearing it for the first time.
I say all that to say this: I knew lots about being a mom before becoming a mom, but I was still wrong. About all kinds of stuff. Even when I was right.
"The problem about being right about the fact that I knew I was made to be a mother is that I was subconsciously believing that motherhood is my calling.
I knew that motherhood would be this amazing experience, and that I would never feel like I was fully myself until I added "mom" to my resumé. And I knew that life goes on after having kids. I'm still me and still a person with needs and desires. Even if being a mom was all I needed in life, I'd still eventually end up with an empty nest... and I'd fill my days with something other than diapers and feeding kids and teaching words.
"Only after becoming a mother did I realize that this isn't it. This isn't my thing. I can be a good or even great mom, and it can be one of the most fulfilling parts of my life; but that's not the same as having a driving passion to provide something good to people, even if I don't really know what that is yet."
I realized shortly after that I was so lost before I had a baby. I have a lot more confidence now, even if I don't know what my "calling" is, I am not lost. In fact, I've never been so close to where I want to be. It's just that these babies keep needing things and it's easy to forget that everything is a phase. It's easy to forget that I can feel like I have so many distractions AND still be exactly where I need to be right now, doing what I need to be doing. I mean, kids grow up. They don't live with you forever, right?
...RIGHT?!
Read the article in its entirety here.
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