Imma give you a little insight into the psyche of a cat. "Hey, I'm a cat. I'm gonna pee on this plant here until it's dead, then I'm gonna wait until 11:30 at night and start loudly eating one of the dead leaves of the pee pee plant. I'm going to also climb on you while you're trying to sleep and take my shank-like paw and step right on your boob with all my weight. I'll be standing just like that for at least five minutes, kneading you and rubbing my fang into your face and tickling your nose with my whiskers while you try to sleep."
Honestly, cats are freakin' weirdos, man.
You know what else is weird? The job interview I went to yesterday. I found the opening through a post on Craigslist. In my experience, if they don't include their company name (first red flag) or any contact information other than the jumbled email address they were assigned by Craigslist (second red flag), then they probably aren't a real company and I honestly have no idea why they waste people's time with bogus ads for entry-level admin positions. Anyway, this particular ad actually had a company AND a street name (Bonus!), so I sent my resume.
After Googling them to make sure they actually existed, of course. You can never be too sure with that Craigslist.
So, I get an email back the next morning from the manager requesting that I come in for an interview. I am not getting awesome vibes (though not bad ones, either) but I think of all the unemployed people out there wishing they could even get an interview some place, and I decide it's better for me not to make decisions before I even meet these people.
I drive my fancy little booty up there. It was much farther than I thought. In non-rush hour, it took me 35 minutes to get there. This, my people, is a long time to drive to work. Still a good 10-12 minutes away, all I could think of was WHY AM I STILL DRIVING seriouslyIcannotdothiseveryday. It would take me a solid hour to make that drive in 5 o'clock traffic! And I don't have AC or a heater, people! These are things I must consider!
Aaaaaaanyway, I pull in, relieved I'm there early so I can use the restroom before my interview. It did take me nearly all day to get there, after all. I notice the hours on the door are 8:30am to 5:30pm. You should be caught up with me by this point, so it won't surprise you that I'm a TAD concerned about how many minutes I'll have each day between getting home and going to bed. I brush it off for now, and walk in. There are a few people in the waiting room, and the TV is way too loud for the setting. I walk up to the window. The woman there looked a little older than middle-aged. She was on the phone, so I waited. Without looking up, she scooted the clipboard with the patient sign-in sheet on it over to me. I put my name down and wrote INTERVIEW where the doctor's name would have gone if I were here as a patient. I took a seat. She soon hung up the phone, so I approached her and asked her where the bathroom was, and followed her instructions. When I came back out, she handed me paperwork to fill out. An Application for Employment. Naturally. The only part about this that made me angry is that it took me 20 minutes to fill out this sheet OF INFORMATION THEY KNOW THEY ALREADY HAVE. I don't care if this is normal, it's stupid. Can you just attach the resume to the back of this instead of have me fill out my employment history AGAIN? Because, you know, I've already taken the time to do this beforehand and send it to you all nice and pretty. No. No, they can't, and it was a huge waste of time, because the manager took me back and had my resume sitting on her desk, not my application. She seemed friendly. She had me sit in the seat across from her desk, and as she took her seat behind her desk, she asked me what made me want a job in this industry.
...I need a job. That's what. I didn't seek them out and high five all my friends when I scored an interview. It goes something like this: Need job. Search for job. Apply for job. Interview for job. Get hired. Let's skip the part where I tell you how awesome your chosen industry is and how I want what the company wants, blah blah blah. Instead, I'll tell you how I will be the best administrative assistant you have ever had, and that does not make me feel like I'm being phony or sucking up.
Of course, I didn't say any of this.
During the course of the interview, I am relaxed, personable, professional... probably the best I'll ever interview in my life, and I don't even want the job. It's not a good fit for me at all. At one point, the girl who would be training me, a student who was about to leave for some school opportunity, came in. She couldn't have been more than a year or so older than me, but her voice is really what gave away her youth. She asked if I had any experience doing admin work. Ha! She obviously hasn't seen my resume, and when I tell her of the near decade of experience I have in administrative work, she assures me that every place is different and all but says how hard administrative work is. What? If it's as hard as she's making it sound, I want to know two things: 1) what in the heck they aren't telling me about this position, and 2) why they aren't offering a higher wage to do it.
My mom told me not to sell myself short.
"Anyone with a personality at all can be taught to do admin work," I said.
"You have to remember you started at a very young age doing this," she told me.
The manager comes back in and asks if the other girl answered all my questions. I am so confused by this, I can't even tell you. Are none of you people listening to me? I'm actually over-qualified for this job! I don't have questions about how to be an admin assistant. I know what the job entails, and, in fact, I'd be doing so little there, I could do it in my sleep. I asked the other girl questions for which I wouldn't need answers until after I started work, only because she seemed concerned by the fact that I didn't have any questions!
Bottom line, I have no idea what to think. I mean, between the stone lady up at the front desk, the manager who asked me questions and cut me off mid-answer to justify why she asked them, the college chick who apparently landed herself in the hardest admin role known to man, and the sheer distance... A job is a job, I know. But at what point do you have to admit that it's just not a good fit? If I were supposed to have this job, I would at least feel peace about it.
I don't feel peace about it. Instead, I feel like I'd rather be home, getting stepped on by my cat and replacing thelive dead plants with fake ones.
After Googling them to make sure they actually existed, of course. You can never be too sure with that Craigslist.
So, I get an email back the next morning from the manager requesting that I come in for an interview. I am not getting awesome vibes (though not bad ones, either) but I think of all the unemployed people out there wishing they could even get an interview some place, and I decide it's better for me not to make decisions before I even meet these people.
I drive my fancy little booty up there. It was much farther than I thought. In non-rush hour, it took me 35 minutes to get there. This, my people, is a long time to drive to work. Still a good 10-12 minutes away, all I could think of was WHY AM I STILL DRIVING seriouslyIcannotdothiseveryday. It would take me a solid hour to make that drive in 5 o'clock traffic! And I don't have AC or a heater, people! These are things I must consider!
Aaaaaaanyway, I pull in, relieved I'm there early so I can use the restroom before my interview. It did take me nearly all day to get there, after all. I notice the hours on the door are 8:30am to 5:30pm. You should be caught up with me by this point, so it won't surprise you that I'm a TAD concerned about how many minutes I'll have each day between getting home and going to bed. I brush it off for now, and walk in. There are a few people in the waiting room, and the TV is way too loud for the setting. I walk up to the window. The woman there looked a little older than middle-aged. She was on the phone, so I waited. Without looking up, she scooted the clipboard with the patient sign-in sheet on it over to me. I put my name down and wrote INTERVIEW where the doctor's name would have gone if I were here as a patient. I took a seat. She soon hung up the phone, so I approached her and asked her where the bathroom was, and followed her instructions. When I came back out, she handed me paperwork to fill out. An Application for Employment. Naturally. The only part about this that made me angry is that it took me 20 minutes to fill out this sheet OF INFORMATION THEY KNOW THEY ALREADY HAVE. I don't care if this is normal, it's stupid. Can you just attach the resume to the back of this instead of have me fill out my employment history AGAIN? Because, you know, I've already taken the time to do this beforehand and send it to you all nice and pretty. No. No, they can't, and it was a huge waste of time, because the manager took me back and had my resume sitting on her desk, not my application. She seemed friendly. She had me sit in the seat across from her desk, and as she took her seat behind her desk, she asked me what made me want a job in this industry.
...I need a job. That's what. I didn't seek them out and high five all my friends when I scored an interview. It goes something like this: Need job. Search for job. Apply for job. Interview for job. Get hired. Let's skip the part where I tell you how awesome your chosen industry is and how I want what the company wants, blah blah blah. Instead, I'll tell you how I will be the best administrative assistant you have ever had, and that does not make me feel like I'm being phony or sucking up.
Of course, I didn't say any of this.
During the course of the interview, I am relaxed, personable, professional... probably the best I'll ever interview in my life, and I don't even want the job. It's not a good fit for me at all. At one point, the girl who would be training me, a student who was about to leave for some school opportunity, came in. She couldn't have been more than a year or so older than me, but her voice is really what gave away her youth. She asked if I had any experience doing admin work. Ha! She obviously hasn't seen my resume, and when I tell her of the near decade of experience I have in administrative work, she assures me that every place is different and all but says how hard administrative work is. What? If it's as hard as she's making it sound, I want to know two things: 1) what in the heck they aren't telling me about this position, and 2) why they aren't offering a higher wage to do it.
My mom told me not to sell myself short.
"Anyone with a personality at all can be taught to do admin work," I said.
"You have to remember you started at a very young age doing this," she told me.
The manager comes back in and asks if the other girl answered all my questions. I am so confused by this, I can't even tell you. Are none of you people listening to me? I'm actually over-qualified for this job! I don't have questions about how to be an admin assistant. I know what the job entails, and, in fact, I'd be doing so little there, I could do it in my sleep. I asked the other girl questions for which I wouldn't need answers until after I started work, only because she seemed concerned by the fact that I didn't have any questions!
Bottom line, I have no idea what to think. I mean, between the stone lady up at the front desk, the manager who asked me questions and cut me off mid-answer to justify why she asked them, the college chick who apparently landed herself in the hardest admin role known to man, and the sheer distance... A job is a job, I know. But at what point do you have to admit that it's just not a good fit? If I were supposed to have this job, I would at least feel peace about it.
I don't feel peace about it. Instead, I feel like I'd rather be home, getting stepped on by my cat and replacing the
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